For so long I have been at home with the kids. Interacting with adults in the outside world has become a far off memory but one I want to revisit. Being able to stay at home and actively participate in raising our wild little weeds has its perks, but a lady wants a bit more than to be the leading role in the 1950s imaginary show of which I've become a character. I'm not so great at homemaking and housekeeping. I'm probably better at paper writing and turning stories into poetry.
Nonetheless, I am a mommy and proud of it. Choosing to stay home instead of "cashing in" on my degrees doesn't make me less of a woman, perhaps more so. I have chosen to forgo some of the complexities of balancing work and family life effectively. I've always thought it necessary to build the realities of outside life around my children, and although others think that's corny or unnatural, I couldn't disagree more. They didn't ask to be here, but now that they are they want to be recognized, loved and appreciated. Just as with adults, children want you to pay attention. Acknowledging their presence and letting them know it's okay to be who they are is all anyone really wants. Well, at least in our household of seven.
I often am amazed at how strong I've become. I mean I must be if I was able to suppress the non mommy parts of me for so long. I wouldn't recommend it for any woman out there! Or any man, for that matter. Find what's true and find a balance within so you won't lose sight of yourself. You can't be the best anything for anyone else if you're not being the best you for yourself. Yes, I am a mother. Yes, I am a wife. But back in the day there was an "y mami´" (pronounced I mom-mee) in place of "my mommy." (How do you think I became a mother of five? Mama can put it down.) I am a woman before all else, and being a woman is the first ingredient in my recipe of amazing.
I'm Going to Do Things to Your Mind
So these days, I am trying to incorporate more freelance writing into my routine-- and I use that term loosely. No two days are exactly the same for me. After getting the oldest two off to school safely, who knows where it'll go from there with the other three who stay home with me during the day. Mama's got to be a little more structured to reemerge in the "real world," as if I've be secluded in some type of blissful mommy wonderland all these years. Some folks perceive it that way. They have obviously not read my factually based stories on Xomba.
A Poop-filled Ride
What Goes in Must Come Out
Anyway, if I could only get past my fears, I could be some much more for me. For my family. After nearly eight years of being a stay at home mom--granted I did complete both my undergrad and graduate education during this lengthy period-- your confidence does tend to dissipate the longer you're out of the game. The best I can think of is taking baby steps. And you know I know all about baby steps.
As my children mature and grow so too does their mommy. I'm still a work in progress and am already living up to my potential. The thing with me is that I know it's limitless I just have to own it. That statement is not germane to me people. We all were blessed with a purpose and talent. You think there are limits placed on those talents? "God wants us to have not only life, but to experience it abundantly" (3 John 2; Dr. Arnold Harold, Jr.). So don't be hating on how I profit from my blessing. I'm sharing it with you right now.
And hey, embrace me workforce! Because here I come… eventually… slowly… steadily… certainly… don't rush me! I'll be there. In time. And when I do arrive, you better be ready because mama is getting it together.